Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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