whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize