Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
