My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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