Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
