how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
