I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
