Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
