All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
So much rum. So many feels.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
