Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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