How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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