Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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