So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
