And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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