Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
