how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
