butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
