Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize