How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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