We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize