Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
