i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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