East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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