It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
