I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize