We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize