i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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