Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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