i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
