My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
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