Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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