Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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