Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
