Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
The police scanner is talking about you again....
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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