I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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