whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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