So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
