I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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