Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
