I smell stomach acid.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
