i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
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