Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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