paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
