Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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