And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
