we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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