I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
