If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize