she was so not down for the gang bang
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Im part way to drunk.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
