I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Randomize
