so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
