they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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