Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
