I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
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