he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
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