Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
