Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
