You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
