it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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