I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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