I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
