Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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