fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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