Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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