Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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