12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
